Arguments with furniture are rarely productive. -- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit" ... at least I thought I was dancing, 'til somebody stepped on my hand. -- J. B. White A city is a large community where people are lonesome together. -- Herbert Prochnow A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. -- William James A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks. -- Lew Col A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation." -- Stephen Crane A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with. -- Tenessee Williams
About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends. -- Herbert Hoover Alas, I am dying beyond my means. -- Oscar Wilde, as he sipped champagne on his deathbed All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed. -- Sean O'Casey Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy. -- Charlie McCarthy Computers have enabled people to make more mistakes faster than almost any invention in history, with the possible exception of tequila and handguns. -- Mitch Ratcliffe
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him. -- John Barrymore's dying words Do not try to solve all life's problems at once -- learn to dread each day as it comes. -- Donald Kaul Don't be humble, you're not that great. -- Golda Meir Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. -- Mark Twain Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it. -- W. Somerset Maughm Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun. -- Jeff Berner Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral. -- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit" Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. -- Olivier Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again. -- F. P. Jones Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. -- Oscar Wilde For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. -- H. L. Mencken For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like. -- Abraham Lincoln Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. -- Elbert Hubbard God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things. -- Pablo Picasso God may be subtle, but He isn't plain mean. -- Albert Einstein Grub first, then ethics. -- Bertolt Brecht Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??! -- W. C. Fields Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. Humor is a drug which it's the fashion to abuse. -- William Gilbert He had that rare weird electricity about him -- that extremely wild and heavy presence that you only see in a person who has abandoned all hope of ever behaving "normally." -- Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing '72" He hadn't a single redeeming vice. -- Oscar Wilde However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my traditional manner ... sulking and nausea. -- Tom K. Ryan I am not now, and never have been, a girlfriend of Henry Kissinger. -- Gloria Steinem I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. -- Winston Churchill I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions. -- Lillian Hellman I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. -- Mae West
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best. -- Oscar Wilde I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me. -- Hunter S. Thompson If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder. -- Pope John Paul I If you cannot convince them, confuse them. -- Harry S Truman I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem. -- Ashleigh Brilliant I drink to make other people interesting. -- George Jean Nathan I just need enough to tide me over until I need more. -- Bill Hoest If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith. -- Albert Einstein If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. -- J. Paul Getty Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. -- Jules de Gaultier It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased. -- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit" It's Fabulous! We haven't seen anything like it in the last half an hour! -- Macy's It's bad luck to be superstitious. -- Andrew W. Mathis It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail. -- Gore Vidal It is not true that life is one damn thing after another -- it's one damn thing over and over. -- Edna St. Vincent Millay Laughter is the closest distance between two people. -- Victor Borge Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. -- H. L. Mencken Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child -- if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. -- W. C. Fields Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. -- Lily Tomlin Now is the time for all good men to come to. -- Walt Kelly Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right. -- Salvor Hardin, "Foundation" Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance. -- Sam Brown, "The Washington Post", January 26, 1977 No good deed goes unpunished. -- Clare Boothe Luce No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -- Eleanor Roosevelt Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming. -- J. P. McEvoy San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was. -- Herb Caen Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated. -- M. C. Reed Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. -- Lily Tomlin The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a bit longer. -- Henry Kissinger To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. -- Woody Allen TV is chewing gum for the eyes. -- Frank Lloyd Wright The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. -- Anatole France The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it. -- Abbie Hoffman The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been. -- Alan Ashley-Pitt The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from. -- Andrew S. Tanenbaum The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. -- Oscar Wilde The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here. -- Finley Peter Dunne (Mr. Dooley) The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues. -- Elizabeth Taylor The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. -- George Bernard Shaw The superfluous is very necessary. -- Voltaire The world's as ugly as sin, and almost as delightful -- Frederick Locker-Lampson There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. -- Henry Kissinger There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it -- G. B. Shaw There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. -- Oscar Wilde Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL. -- Mae West Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant intelligence. -- Henrik Tikkanen Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. -- Salvor Hardin We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities. -- Walt Kelly, "Pogo" We must remember the First Amendment which protects any shrill jackass no matter how self-seeking. -- F. G. Withington What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy? -- Ursula K. LeGuin Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down. -- Collis P. Huntingdon When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it. -- Clarence Darrow When you have shot and killed a man you have in some measure clarified your attitude toward him. You have given a definite answer to a definite problem. For better or worse you have acted decisively. In a way, the next move is up to him. -- R. A. Lafferty Whenever anyone says, "theoretically", they really mean, "not really". -- Dave Parnas Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. --Oscar Wilde Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. -- Mark Twain Where humor is concerned there are no standards -- no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. -- John Kenneth Galbraith We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. -- Lily Tomlin When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite. -- Winston Curchill, On formal declarations of war Why be a man when you can be a success? -- Bertold Brecht Why was I born with such contemporaries? -- Oscar Wilde "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?" "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat. -- Lewis Carrol You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don't. -- Dagwood Bumstead You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and liberty. -- Henrick Ibson You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. -- Dean Martin |
