 I noticed a very curious phenomenon at the Lone Star Saloon, a San Francisco "Bear" Bar...noticably, that I didn't fit. Somehow, standing at 5'11, 150 pounds I was a bit smaller than the traditional Bear. I always got the feeling that, without malice, I was being ignored. Usually by the hottest men I'd ever seen. Somehow I would try not to drool as one of these men came by and nudged past me, thinking to themselves, "Outta my way, Stickboy." At the same time I was around several people who called me "Puppy." Okay, I'm fairly young looking. At least I don't get carded for cigarettes any more. But what was this canine reference about? Why not... kitten? Baby? Joey? Hatchling? Asshole? Eventually this identity began to take form. I'd heard stories of master/slave relationships that used dog/owner imagery in play. I'd heard the guys at the Hole In The Wall (a local gay biker bar) howling at hot men, or good songs, or another round of beer, or at a slight change in the wind, or just about anything. And I'd met several gay men online who used some canine reference in their name. Wolf, Dogs, Puppy, even a hyena, an otter and a prairie dog. So to better foster understanding between groups of people, I've comprised a category (for those who like categories) of the Homo Canus, The Human Dog, or more specifically, Homo Homo Canus, The Queer Dog. What does a Dog look like? Okay, this is where it gets a little tricky. This debate has raged on in the Bear community for decades. Can you still call him a bear if he's skinny and hairless? What if he likes to wear sweaters and listens to opera? What if he likes Madonna, wears cologne and giggles like a schoolgirl? Here's how I placed all this: There's a difference between a "Bear" and "Bear-like" or "Bearish" men. But one thing can tie them all together: Attitude. Bears have a certain manly-man, good-natured, sexy style, often tempered with the memory of being regarded as "unsexy", either from being too heavy or hairy. A mature Bear doesn't care what the queens at the gym think anymore; he knows he's sexy in his own right. So too with Dogs. The Dog, however, is even more about attitude. Ever watched the Westminister Dog Show? The top breeds all compete with each other, from toy Poodles to Great Danes to Chihuahuas to Sheepdogs to Shar-pei. Excellence for them comes from their good physical qualities within their breeds. And Mutts may use their beauty, personality, usefulness, etc., to be a good Dog. A dog can look like any number of things, depending on its pedigree or heritage. It's probably true to say, though, that Dogs tend to inhabit the more butch realms of queer culture. Certain dog-like qualities (barking, urinating in public, running around the streets, etc) are more manifest in (but not exclusive to) our standards of Masculinity than Femininity. Above all, remember what my drag queen friends have taught me over the years: "After a while, Puppy, everything is drag." Dog Rules Simply put, dogs have few rules. The entire Wolfen subcategory prides itself on being vaguely anarchic, providing for the pack when necessary; the more domesticated varieties may be more willing to follow direction from patient humans. But the Dog credo can be politely summed up in one sentence: Dog Behaviors Some may characterize the Dog as a wonton beast, wholly enslaved to his animal lust. This may be an unfair generalization. The Dog can be fiercely loyal to a beloved companion. The Dog may guard the home, help to hunt for food, or simply act as a warm body to snuggle against on a cold night. On the other hand, when running wild (as most dogs yearn to do every now and again) Dogs can be destructive, biting the mailman (Authority Figures), ruining important objects (Civil Disobedience), or pining for or searching out another dog in heat. Everybody has a bad side. While the four-legged variety may identify others of its species by sniffing, the two-legged variety uses the cruise to identify the like- minded. Chiefly visual, the cruise communicates between dogs that, while on each others territory, each is welcome, but not to eat the food in his dish. The Dog is an intensely physical creature, and likes to make use of all its senses at all times. The olfactory quality of another creature will not go unnoticed. It probably seems rather odd to a Dog to dowse oneself with cologne, to mask one's scented identity. And the Dog in a tuxedo and eau de toilette will probably have to wonder to himself, "What on earth am I doing?" and feel a bit out-of-sorts until a good roll-around in the yard (bar, bed, wherever). Dog Varieties The Sporting Group This variety likes the outdoors, be it the woods, the park, or the alleys. As long as it can run, it's happy. It enjoys the hunt (be it wildlife, bar life, or just its master) and is great for playing. It likes to roll around or wrestle, too. The Non-Sporting Group Also great for play, this group enjoys the indoors a bit more; in fact, your bed is just as comfortable as its own, so why shouldn't it be found there? These tend to be a bit smaller and more easily domesticatable, but never underestimate the call of the wild. The Working Group These fine animals are quite content to throw themselves into labor of any kind. They are quite loyal, and don't mind rough treatment. They are often underrated for their ability to play. And they make a wonderful bedwarmer, as quality rest is important for a hard day's work. The Toy Group Easily the most maligned group of dogs, these smaller animals may be considered lap warmers, but never underestimate their fearlessness. Known to take on large animals (even bears) with a ferocity that quite outgrosses their size. Considered frivilous, these Dogs make fine companions and enjoy play as much as naptime. They enjoy the finer things in life, and expect such treatment. The Wolf, or Wild Dogs These majestic beauties are often considered untrainable, as they tend to wander across their territories unheeding the humans. In reality these may be fine family Dogs, but as you may never see its family, you may never know. These are definitely the free-thinkers of the family. And you can bring one into your home; just don't expect it to stay the night, necessarily. Any number of cross-bred Dogs are possible. And even the Toy, as discussed, may get firmly in-touch with its Lupine heritage. And any number of nationalities have their own breeds, such as the Scotch Terrier, the Tibetian Spaniel, or the Chihuahua, but remember that generalities of behaviour for these groups is generally wrong; every dog is his own person. Conclusion So are you a dog? Do you just want a dog? All one needs to remember is:
Here's to many years of enjoying (and being) a dog! |